Drinking & Nuns

A drunk guy is walking down the street. He sees this nun, runs up and knocks her over. He says, "You don't feel so tough now, do you, Batman!?"

Signs of the Coming Dark Ages

Sign #1: Southern Baptists -- Yes they're considering pulling their children from public schools because they don't like how homosexuals and science are represented in our schools. We're looking at an increase in tribalism and a decrease in the sense of being an American. Here's a great rant on the subject.

Sign #2: Conservative Islam -- That's right, they're lobbying for society at large to accommodate their "modesty laws." Read the article, it's crazy.

Sign #3: The Jesus Pan -- Yes you can cook your food while burning the cross and a likeness of Jesus into your food. How better to "take the body of Christ" than to pull his head off a pancake!

Forgive Me...

A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow just as he approached the intersection . He did the right thing and stopped at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection.

Still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed and placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects. He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'What Would Jesus Do' and 'One Nation Under God' bumper stickers and the chrome-plated fish emblem on the trunk. Forgive me, but I assumed you had stolen the car."