To: The Fish of Petersen Pond
From: People for the Ethical Treatment of Pond Animals (PETPA)
RE: Recent Pond Invasion
Dear Fish of Petersen Pond,
We've recently learned of Diane Petersen's negligent intrusion into your tranquil underwater environment. While no fish was harmed, we understand that you feared for your lives and suffered quite a bit of emotional trauma. We've further learned that many of you are now suffering from Anthropophobia and are seeking professional counseling.
We at PETPA stand ready to assist you. Should you require legal counsel,short term medical assistance or even
pond relocation services, count on PETPA to help. We've petitioned the management of Petersen Pond to install a safety rail around the perimeter to protect you, the residents of Petersen Pond, from further trauma. Please contact your local PETPA representative if you have further questions.
PETPA Field Director,
Gretchen Goldfish
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