It's Never Bush's Fault!

I don't know who wrote this originally (I copied it a while back from Yahoo News Discussions), but I've beed adding to it since I found it -- it's a great read...


It's the liberals. It's the ACLU. It's Clinton. It's Monica. It's the "climate of permissiveness". It's France. It's the liberal media. It's Clinton's p*nis. It's Hillary. It's Gov. Dean. We never could have known they'd fly planes into buildings. "No actionable intelligence". They didn't tell us to do anything. O'Neill's lying. Clarke's lying. General Shinseki's lying. The Union of Concerned Scientists is lying. Our own weapons inspector Scott Ritter, an ex-Marine and veteran of the the first Gulf war, is lying. Bush's hand-picked successor to Ritter, David Kay, is lying. Joe Wilson's lying. John Dean's lying. Newsweek lied! CBS lied! Everyone's lying but us. We had to lie. We never lied.

Medicaid reforms will cost only $400 billion. Medicade reform will cost $740 billion. Scooter says he'd fire the employee who tells congress that the reform will cost more than $400 billion. Canada's health care is worse!

Plame outed herself. Her husband outed her. The liberals outed her. No one outed her, since everyone already knew her covert identity. Rove had nothing to do with it. Cheney had nothing to do with it. "Scooter" Libby had nothing to do with it. No comment. Lib'ral, lib'ral, lib'ral.

It's the libs that tried to pull Schiavo's feeding tube. It doesn't matter that DeLay pulled his own dad's feeding tube. "Culture of life". It's Janet Jackson's boobs; it's the Statue of Justice's boobs. Reading the news might cloud my judgement. It's the "decade our government...blinded itself to our enemies". It's the homosexuals wanting to marry. "Restore honor and dignity to the White House". A decision to go to war wasn't a decision to go to war. "No actionable intelligence". It's the pledge of allegiance. They're taking God out of America. Osama didn't tell us when, how, where, and by what means he'd attack, and he didn't leave a forwarding address. The 9/11 panel is biased against us. Saddam = Al Qaida. Saddam = Al Qaida.

Chalabi's an honorable man and I believe everything he says about WMDs. Chalabi's a crook and he passed secrets to Iran. Chalabi's the liberals' fault because they didn't shoot us when we started using his "intelligence". Chalabi? I don't know any 'Chalabi'!

"I'm against the 9/11 commission." "I'm for the 9/11 commission." "I'll won't testify before the commission." I will testify, but only if Dick Cheney is with me." "I won't testify under oath." "They hate us for our freedom."

It's just a few dead-enders. They'll be gone when we capture Saddam. "Mission Accomplished." They'll be gone when we capture Saddam's sons. They'll be gone when we hand over "sovereignty". They'll be gone when Iraq has elections. They'll be gone in 12 years. They'll never be gone.

We fight them in London so we don't have to fight them, er, uh, well, can't get fooled again! Don't forget Poland! Palau is on our side!

Bolton didn't lie! He just knowingly gave inaccurate answers under oath!

Aw, so what's another ISLAMIC STATE in the mideast? It's not like Bush has made it a home for terrorists or anything!

We had to lie to support the war. They'll throw flowers at our feet. They have unmanned aircraft that can drop biological weapons on us. Well, they had plans for unmanned aircraft. They had a students remote controlled airplane. It was 5 feet long! They don't like us!

It's all these former staffers hawking their books. Money never corrupted anyone. "I'm a uniter, not a divider!" It's the stem cells. It's the feminazis, the intellectual elitists, and the ecoterrorists.

It's the Hurricane, It's the victims. It's the poor. It's the dead. It's the disabled... the elderly. It's those that didn't evacuate. It's the buses.

It's Cthulhu. It's the martians, It's Mickey Mouse, It's The Tooth Fairy, etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc.,


It's ALWAYS anyone but Bush!