27 May 2005
Sony Announces New Product for Elderly (parody)
Sony Corporation of America
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
CONTACT
Sony Corporation of America
Media Relations
550 Madison Avenue
New York, NY 10022.
Phone: 212-833-6800
Sony designs new line of products specifically for senior citizens.
New York, NY, May 27, 2005. Sony Corporation of America (SCA) and Fisher-Price (MAT) announce a new series of consumer electronic products specifically designed for the elderly.
The new “My Last™” series of products target elderly and mildly disabled consumers. Sony feels it can build upon the success of its “My First™” series of products which were designed for children ages three through six.
David Takahashi, Director of Product Research, noted that “The visual acuity, physical coordination, and memory functions of toddlers closely match those of the elderly, thus the designs are remarkably similar.”
My Last™ products feature bright colors, large control buttons, and a reduced set of features. “We found that the bright colors helped elderly citizens identify the products. The large control buttons make the products easier to use, and the reduced feature set is less likely to befuddle older citizens,” said Mr. Takahashi. He further noted that consumers can buy these products as gifts for the elderly without “having to repeatedly remind them of how to use the product.”
New products include My Last™ Cell Phone, My Last™ Answering Machine, My Last™ DVD Player, My Last™ Alarm Clock, and My Last™ Television Remote. All products will be available through retail outlets nationwide.
ABOUT SONY CORPORATION OF AMERICA
Sony Corporation of America, based in New York City, is the U.S. subsidiary of Sony Corporation, headquartered in Tokyo. Sony is a leading manufacturer of audio, video, communications, and information technology products for the consumer and professional markets. Sony's principal U.S. businesses include Sony Electronics Inc., Sony Pictures Entertainment, Sony Computer Entertainment America Inc., and a 50% interest in Sony BMG Music Entertainment, one of the largest recorded music companies in the world. Sony recorded consolidated annual sales of over $72 billion for the fiscal year ended March 31, 2004, and it employs 162,000 people worldwide. Sony's consolidated sales in the U.S. for the fiscal year ended March 31, 2004 were $20.4 billion. For more information see www.sony.com
-END-
20 May 2005
17 May 2005
What if 42 Midgets Fought a Lion?
Ever wonder who would win in a fight between 42 midgets who are all martial art experts and a single male Lion? Now we know for certain. (Thanks to Scott C. for pointing out this story)
16 May 2005
"disconcerting" defined
The official definition.
My definition: "Sitting on a public toilet that is still warm from the last person."
I hate when that happens.
My definition: "Sitting on a public toilet that is still warm from the last person."
I hate when that happens.
10 May 2005
06 May 2005
Dear Senator Frist
Part of an ongoing dialog with Senator Bill Frist:
Office of Senator Bill Frist
509 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington, DC 20510
Dear Senator Frist,
Thank you for your e-mail response. I’ve printed it and attached it for your reference.
I find many of your assertion untrue. Republicans blocked many of President Clinton's nominees from ever getting out of committee to receive a vote.
You've had a 95% acceptance rate. I'd expect more dissent from within the Republican Party itself -- are you all really that alike? Is there no room in your party for independent thought?
The rule changes you seek now are things you would have never granted to a democratic administration. Why then would you expect them for yourself?
What I find most dangerous is your party's attack on the separation of powers, and your continued attacks on the judiciary. Compromise and checks and balances seem to be American philosophies you don’t embrace.
Your constituents wrap themselves in the flag and the crucifix, and yet they act in the most un-American an un-Christian ways. What about principles such as equality under the law? Judge not lest thee be judged. Love your enemy. Help the poor. Freedom of ANY religion.
What a disaster you bring upon this country when your party manipulates faith in the service of politics and power.
I doubt the religious right in your party will be happy merely to freely exercise their own religion. They won't be happy until they've forced that religion on public life in general.
What could I expect from a doctor who won't admit you can't catch AIDS from tears and from one who feels qualified to diagnose patients they've never examined?
Disgusted,
Brad
Office of Senator Bill Frist
509 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington, DC 20510
Dear Senator Frist,
Thank you for your e-mail response. I’ve printed it and attached it for your reference.
I find many of your assertion untrue. Republicans blocked many of President Clinton's nominees from ever getting out of committee to receive a vote.
You've had a 95% acceptance rate. I'd expect more dissent from within the Republican Party itself -- are you all really that alike? Is there no room in your party for independent thought?
The rule changes you seek now are things you would have never granted to a democratic administration. Why then would you expect them for yourself?
What I find most dangerous is your party's attack on the separation of powers, and your continued attacks on the judiciary. Compromise and checks and balances seem to be American philosophies you don’t embrace.
Your constituents wrap themselves in the flag and the crucifix, and yet they act in the most un-American an un-Christian ways. What about principles such as equality under the law? Judge not lest thee be judged. Love your enemy. Help the poor. Freedom of ANY religion.
What a disaster you bring upon this country when your party manipulates faith in the service of politics and power.
I doubt the religious right in your party will be happy merely to freely exercise their own religion. They won't be happy until they've forced that religion on public life in general.
What could I expect from a doctor who won't admit you can't catch AIDS from tears and from one who feels qualified to diagnose patients they've never examined?
Disgusted,
Brad
02 May 2005
It's all going swell...
Things are getting better?
I haven't heard much lately about how the war is going. Are we winning? Holding even? Are fewer soldiers dying every day?
I figured I'd find out for myself. I downloaded the US soldier death statistics from the Iraq Coalition Casualty Count site and graphed them in MS Excel. I then added a linear trend line (in red.)
I appears that things are getting worse at a rate that's outstripping the rising price of gasoline. Well. Now I know.
Peak Oil and Your Next Car
We all know the oil will run out sooner or later. Of course, it will likely run out here in the US last; we'll be able to beat up everyone else and take their oil to prolong our status as the earth's most gluttonous consumers.
But it will run out. Maybe sooner than you think. There are many scientists who think we've very nearly reached the peak of oil production and that the effects of even a modest shortfall of petrolium will have disasterous effects on our economy.
Rather than worry about when the oil will eventually run out, I've started thinking about how to create communities and a lifestyle that wouldn't depend upon oil. I've just started looking, and the notion of riding a bike to work intrigues me.
I know there are more serious issues caused by drop in oil production. One surprising issue is the food we eat. According to "EnergyBulletin.net" it takes 10 calories of fossil fuels to produce every 1 calorie of food eaten in the US. Seems we use a lot of petrochemicals in fertilizer, oil and gas in our farm equipment and even more in our distribution network. Guess there are penalties to be paid for moving away from smaller local farms to giant corporate farms.
Enough of that (I hate weeding and would be terrible at growing my own food). Lets get back to riding a bike to work. I was Googling around looking for the ulitmate commuter bicycle when I happended accross the Go-One -- a recumbant bike shaped like a suppository (nice analogy for when you're heading for work).
The bike is supposedly ultra-light, easy to pedal, and with a small electric assist would make it possible to get to and from work with minimal energy use and with maximum health benefits.
Would it fit on the Monon? The roads from my house to my office are dangerous enough when driving -- I don't think I could ride back and forth every day and not tempt death. So, in our oil-deprived future, I'd have to move closer to work. I figure I'd telecommute most of the time and only pedal in when I had meetings or required face-to-face meetings.
Of course, having the energy to pedal a bike requires food. Guess I should get used to weeding.
But it will run out. Maybe sooner than you think. There are many scientists who think we've very nearly reached the peak of oil production and that the effects of even a modest shortfall of petrolium will have disasterous effects on our economy.
Rather than worry about when the oil will eventually run out, I've started thinking about how to create communities and a lifestyle that wouldn't depend upon oil. I've just started looking, and the notion of riding a bike to work intrigues me.
I know there are more serious issues caused by drop in oil production. One surprising issue is the food we eat. According to "EnergyBulletin.net" it takes 10 calories of fossil fuels to produce every 1 calorie of food eaten in the US. Seems we use a lot of petrochemicals in fertilizer, oil and gas in our farm equipment and even more in our distribution network. Guess there are penalties to be paid for moving away from smaller local farms to giant corporate farms.
Enough of that (I hate weeding and would be terrible at growing my own food). Lets get back to riding a bike to work. I was Googling around looking for the ulitmate commuter bicycle when I happended accross the Go-One -- a recumbant bike shaped like a suppository (nice analogy for when you're heading for work).
The bike is supposedly ultra-light, easy to pedal, and with a small electric assist would make it possible to get to and from work with minimal energy use and with maximum health benefits.
Would it fit on the Monon? The roads from my house to my office are dangerous enough when driving -- I don't think I could ride back and forth every day and not tempt death. So, in our oil-deprived future, I'd have to move closer to work. I figure I'd telecommute most of the time and only pedal in when I had meetings or required face-to-face meetings.
Of course, having the energy to pedal a bike requires food. Guess I should get used to weeding.
01 May 2005
The Bicycles of My Youth
My bicycle-riding youth was spent in the Arlington Heights suburb of South Bend, Indiana. I remember riding two distinctly different types of bikes; the Schwinn Stingray early in my childhood, and then when I was older a 10-speed Schwinn.
The Stingray
I rode my Stingray from age 8 or 9, until I received my 10-speed around my 13th birthday. My travels with the Stingray were limited to my universe at the time -- those five or six streets that linked the neighborhood pool, swamp, a local baseball diamond and my friend's houses.
The Stingray was versatile. Baseball gloves could be hung from the handle bars. It would power up and down the hills and trails of the local swamp (now a protected wetland area). It was sturdy enough to fly over the variety of home made jumps we built from scraps of lumber and concrete blocks. My friends and I even tried to mimic Evel Knievel and jump over each other's bikes.
The Stingray has grown a slight cult following, with dozens of web sites dedicated to them. They've become popular enough that Schwinn has brought the Classic Stingray back after a 25 year hiatus.
The 10-Speed
My next bike reflected my desire to travel longer distances from home, and changing interests of a young teenager. Everyone had to have a 10-speed of some type with either the Schwinn Continental or the Schwinn Varsity being the most common.
The Varisty, in contrast to the Stingray, could no longer fly off jumps, and it was near useless on the muddy earth and loose sand of the local swamp. However it was very good at covering longer distances.
Covering longer distances was important. My universe was no longer limited to my home neighborhood. I had friends at school that lived in other neighborhoods, and there were girls in those neighborhoods.
Sports also made the 10-speed bikes a necessity. It was a six-mile round trip to baseball practice (according to MapQuest). A trip made nearly every day in the summer. There were lifeguard jobs at the pools in other neighborhoods.
My life had grown from one that existed inside a half-mile radius of my home, to one that roamed as far as my legs could take me (before I had to be home for dinner, or in for the night). The 10-speed was the best I could do short of a driver's license and a car.
What bike(s) did you ride? Where did they take you?
The Stingray
I rode my Stingray from age 8 or 9, until I received my 10-speed around my 13th birthday. My travels with the Stingray were limited to my universe at the time -- those five or six streets that linked the neighborhood pool, swamp, a local baseball diamond and my friend's houses.
The Stingray was versatile. Baseball gloves could be hung from the handle bars. It would power up and down the hills and trails of the local swamp (now a protected wetland area). It was sturdy enough to fly over the variety of home made jumps we built from scraps of lumber and concrete blocks. My friends and I even tried to mimic Evel Knievel and jump over each other's bikes.
The Stingray has grown a slight cult following, with dozens of web sites dedicated to them. They've become popular enough that Schwinn has brought the Classic Stingray back after a 25 year hiatus.
The 10-Speed
My next bike reflected my desire to travel longer distances from home, and changing interests of a young teenager. Everyone had to have a 10-speed of some type with either the Schwinn Continental or the Schwinn Varsity being the most common.
The Varisty, in contrast to the Stingray, could no longer fly off jumps, and it was near useless on the muddy earth and loose sand of the local swamp. However it was very good at covering longer distances.
Covering longer distances was important. My universe was no longer limited to my home neighborhood. I had friends at school that lived in other neighborhoods, and there were girls in those neighborhoods.
Sports also made the 10-speed bikes a necessity. It was a six-mile round trip to baseball practice (according to MapQuest). A trip made nearly every day in the summer. There were lifeguard jobs at the pools in other neighborhoods.
My life had grown from one that existed inside a half-mile radius of my home, to one that roamed as far as my legs could take me (before I had to be home for dinner, or in for the night). The 10-speed was the best I could do short of a driver's license and a car.
What bike(s) did you ride? Where did they take you?
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