- "Why are you looking up here? The joke is in your hand." (seen above a urinal)
- "You may hover above this seat, but I.U. crabs can jump three feet."
- "Go Colts! And take the Pacers with you!"
- "Jesus loves you." "The rest of us think you're a dick."
- "If your hose is short and pump is weak you better stand closer or you'll pee on your feet."
27 November 2005
Bathroom Humor -- an Ongoing Collection
Now we begin a semi-regular post featuring words of wisdom (or not) found in central Indiana's public bathrooms. To get things started, I'll post four bits of grafitti:
24 November 2005
No Pardon for Libby
Democratic Senators letter to Mr. Bush "Don't pardon Libby!"
November 8, 2005
The Honorable George W. Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20500
Dear Mr. President:
The indictment of I. Lewis Libby, Vice President Dick Cheney's Chief of Staff, marks the first time in 131 years that a senior White House official has been charged with a crime while still serving in the White House. The charges, while not yet proven, are extraordinarily serious and deeply disturbing.
Although it is too early to judge Mr. Libby guilty or innocent of these particular charges, it is not too early for you to reassure the American people that you understand the enormous gravity of the allegations. To this end, we urge you to pledge that if Mr. Libby or anyone else is found guilty vof a crime in connection with Patrick Fitzgerald's investigation, you will not exercise your authority to issue a Presidential pardon.
It is crucial that you make clear in advance that, if convicted, Mr. Libby will not be able to rely on his close relationship with you or Vice President Cheney to obtain the kind of extraordinarily special treatment unavailable to ordinary Americans. In addition you should do nothing to undermine Mr. Fitzgerald's investigation or diminish accountability in your White House. A pardon in these circumstances would signal that this White House considers itself above the law.
We also urge you to state publicly whether anyone in the White House B including White House counsel Harriet Miers or Vice President Cheney B has already discussed the possibility of a pardon with Mr. Libby. Particularly given that the American people are still in the dark about what precisely transpired in the White House with respect to the CIA leak, it would be highly inappropriate if there were such discussions going on behind the scenes.
Swift public action on your part will make clear that you take seriously perjury and obstruction of justice at the highest levels of our government and that you meant what you said about bringing Ahonor and dignity to the White House. We eagerly await your response and hope that you will announce your intentions promptly.
November 8, 2005
The Honorable George W. Bush
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20500
Dear Mr. President:
The indictment of I. Lewis Libby, Vice President Dick Cheney's Chief of Staff, marks the first time in 131 years that a senior White House official has been charged with a crime while still serving in the White House. The charges, while not yet proven, are extraordinarily serious and deeply disturbing.
Although it is too early to judge Mr. Libby guilty or innocent of these particular charges, it is not too early for you to reassure the American people that you understand the enormous gravity of the allegations. To this end, we urge you to pledge that if Mr. Libby or anyone else is found guilty vof a crime in connection with Patrick Fitzgerald's investigation, you will not exercise your authority to issue a Presidential pardon.
It is crucial that you make clear in advance that, if convicted, Mr. Libby will not be able to rely on his close relationship with you or Vice President Cheney to obtain the kind of extraordinarily special treatment unavailable to ordinary Americans. In addition you should do nothing to undermine Mr. Fitzgerald's investigation or diminish accountability in your White House. A pardon in these circumstances would signal that this White House considers itself above the law.
We also urge you to state publicly whether anyone in the White House B including White House counsel Harriet Miers or Vice President Cheney B has already discussed the possibility of a pardon with Mr. Libby. Particularly given that the American people are still in the dark about what precisely transpired in the White House with respect to the CIA leak, it would be highly inappropriate if there were such discussions going on behind the scenes.
Swift public action on your part will make clear that you take seriously perjury and obstruction of justice at the highest levels of our government and that you meant what you said about bringing Ahonor and dignity to the White House. We eagerly await your response and hope that you will announce your intentions promptly.
21 November 2005
A Good Christian Torturing
Many who voted for Mr. Bush quote Mr. Bush's supposed "strong Christian values" as a reason for their support. Many Bush supporters continue to support their president in the face of an avalanche of facts that show Mr. Bush to be incompetent at best and most likely a criminal.
The lastest embarassment for the USA comes from the Bush administration's muddled message on their use of torture.
Mr. Bush recently stated with great vigor We do not torture.
Of course at the same time VP "Tricky" Dick Cheney was lobbying for permission to continue torturing detainees.
Then we learn that the CIA has a network of secret prisons set up around the globe.
You'd think the "holier than thou" Republicans would be outraged by this network of secret prisons and secret use of torture. You'd be wrong. Instead of addressing the damage done to the USA's reputation by these prisons, Republican leadership decided to attack the messenger.
Wonder what we're doing to people in those prisons? Wonder no longer, an ex-CIA officer describes the approved methods. These are the methods approved by Attorney General Gonzales, Rumsfeld and Cheney.
Of course the administration can never say "We're sorry" or "We're wrong". So they deny. They claim "Our methods are unique, but not really torture."
How much longer will his followers support him? How can they leave those "W" stickers on their cars. If they care about the Republican party at all, they'll clean house.
The lastest embarassment for the USA comes from the Bush administration's muddled message on their use of torture.
Mr. Bush recently stated with great vigor We do not torture.
Of course at the same time VP "Tricky" Dick Cheney was lobbying for permission to continue torturing detainees.
Then we learn that the CIA has a network of secret prisons set up around the globe.
You'd think the "holier than thou" Republicans would be outraged by this network of secret prisons and secret use of torture. You'd be wrong. Instead of addressing the damage done to the USA's reputation by these prisons, Republican leadership decided to attack the messenger.
Wonder what we're doing to people in those prisons? Wonder no longer, an ex-CIA officer describes the approved methods. These are the methods approved by Attorney General Gonzales, Rumsfeld and Cheney.
Of course the administration can never say "We're sorry" or "We're wrong". So they deny. They claim "Our methods are unique, but not really torture."
How much longer will his followers support him? How can they leave those "W" stickers on their cars. If they care about the Republican party at all, they'll clean house.
16 November 2005
Separated at Birth!
Remember the Elf in the Rudloph Christmas story? He's a dead ringer for Conan O'Brien.
11 November 2005
What would Jesus Drink?
We’ve all seen those “What would Jesus do?” bumper stickers and bracelets. Lately I’ve seen "Who would Jesus bomb?" stickers as well.
While this line of inquiry is all well and good, I have a more important question:
What would Jesus drink?
Jesus was a carpenter who associated with laborers, farmers and fishermen -- He didn't hang out with the rich, or the well-connected. With this information, perhaps we can make some assumptions about his drink:
- Martinis -- I doubt He drank martinis or any other drink that required a toothpick. They're just too "upper class" and besides, it's tough to look like the Messiah when you're gingerly sipping liquid from a martini glass.
- Margaritas -- He didn't drink these either, not frozen nor on the rocks. Look, tequila can make you do some really stupid things (I know) and He couldn't afford to risk it. Suppose He got drunk on tequila and started forgiving everyone unconditionally? With unconditional forgiveness, where would the church be?
- Rum Runners -- He most certainly didn't drink anything that comes in a glass with a little umbrella.
- Wine -- We know He turned water into wine at a wedding, and He served wine at the last supper, but those were special occasions. He was ensuring everyone had a good time and wanted to impress his guests with the full-bodied, blood-of-your-savior, smoky flavor he could create.
- Beer -- I tend to think of Jesus as a beer drinker. Beer fits better with his demographic. Carpenters, farmers and fishermen don't "pop open a bottle of wine", they down a beer. Saving the world is hard work and beer quenches thirst better than wine. Plus beer doesn't give you that killer tannin-induced headache the next day. Jesus couldn't afford to be grumpy and hung-over.
09 November 2005
Mr. Bush -- Liar! Liar! Pants on Fire!
When the Abu Ghraib scandal broke, President Bush assured us that torture was not part of U.S. policy and that the scandal was entirely the fault of "a few bad apples."
Of course Mr. Bush told us this before we learned that Alberto Gonzales, Mr. Bush's White House Counsel, advised him that the Geneva Conventions were "quaint" and that in his opinion, Mr. Bush could order torture if he desired.
Mr. Bush's assertions came before Mr. Gonzales' Attorney General confirmation hearings where we learned that according to the Bush administration "the anti-torture statutes don't apply to the CIA, private contractors and prisoners held in foreign countries."
Mr. Bush's assertions came before we learned that the CIA has secret prison / torture facilities in foreign countries around the world -- thus freeing them from US law.
Mr. Bush's lies came before we learned that VP "Tricky Dick" Cheney was actively pushing a proposal in the Senate that would exempt the CIA from pending anti-torture legislation.
Mr. Bush, never one to let facts or reality intrude on his view of the world, and in contrast to his V.P. concurrent lobbying, just recently reiterated that "We do not torture."
So Mr. Bush is either incompetent or a liar. His administration is lobbying for permission to continue torturing people. The CIA has setup secret prisons under his watch. He knew all this when his administration tried to bury the blame on hard-working U.S. Soldiers who have been disgraced or jailed for doing nothing more than implementing his policy. While he's telling us "we don't torture" his VP is simultaneously lobbying for continued permission to do just that!
We impeached the last president for lying about a sexual indiscretion. Isn't this much worse?! When will the sheep in the media and his must-be-brain-dead supporters hold him accountable?
Of course Mr. Bush told us this before we learned that Alberto Gonzales, Mr. Bush's White House Counsel, advised him that the Geneva Conventions were "quaint" and that in his opinion, Mr. Bush could order torture if he desired.
Mr. Bush's assertions came before Mr. Gonzales' Attorney General confirmation hearings where we learned that according to the Bush administration "the anti-torture statutes don't apply to the CIA, private contractors and prisoners held in foreign countries."
Mr. Bush's assertions came before we learned that the CIA has secret prison / torture facilities in foreign countries around the world -- thus freeing them from US law.
Mr. Bush's lies came before we learned that VP "Tricky Dick" Cheney was actively pushing a proposal in the Senate that would exempt the CIA from pending anti-torture legislation.
Mr. Bush, never one to let facts or reality intrude on his view of the world, and in contrast to his V.P. concurrent lobbying, just recently reiterated that "We do not torture."
So Mr. Bush is either incompetent or a liar. His administration is lobbying for permission to continue torturing people. The CIA has setup secret prisons under his watch. He knew all this when his administration tried to bury the blame on hard-working U.S. Soldiers who have been disgraced or jailed for doing nothing more than implementing his policy. While he's telling us "we don't torture" his VP is simultaneously lobbying for continued permission to do just that!
We impeached the last president for lying about a sexual indiscretion. Isn't this much worse?! When will the sheep in the media and his must-be-brain-dead supporters hold him accountable?
02 November 2005
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